In answer to my own question, “What does your wife want for Christmas?” . . . I don’t know. But I can offer a few ideas of what wives often enjoy getting.
This post is for the hubbies, but I sincerely hope wives will give their own suggestions in the comments!
1. Jewelry. Yes, it’s a cliché, but there’s also some truth to it. Even I like getting jewelry from my husband, and I’m not a big jewelry person (no pierced ears, the same two rings on my hands all the time, etc.). The challenge is finding something personal and that matches your wife’s style.
Is she a fan of big costume jewelry? Small meaningful charms? Colored stones? Gold, or sterling silver? Peek into her jewelry box. Watch what she wears. Consider her personality, interests, hobbies. Then seek out the right piece for her.
2. Personal care service/items. Whether it’s a day at the spa, a gift certificate for a massage or salon service, or a makeover, many wives enjoy getting personal care that makes them feel more beautiful. I know I feel more confident about myself and my body after leaving a massage or a pedicure. That personal attention and focus on one’s best features can remind you of your personal beauty — beauty you are then more willing to share with your husband.
If she doesn’t like going somewhere for that attention, how about bubble bath or crystals? A home pedicure set? Fancy skin care products? Find something that reminds her how beautiful you already think she is.
3. Night or weekend getaway. Schedule a hotel for a night or a resort stay for a weekend, or even a camp-out if that’s your style. (But know your wife, because I’d throw things at my husband if he tried to take this princess camping for a gift.) Line up any child and pet care needed. Create the gift certificate with your plan’s details and tuck it under the tree.
Now, be aware! This is supposed to be a romantic and relaxing weekend. So if your sweetheart is at her wit’s end caring for five young children, and you think getting a hotel means sex right away, that might feel more like a gift for you than her. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have sex! I’m simply saying that the best gift you could give an overworked, exhausted mom might be a full night’s sleep at the hotel . . . followed by breakfast in bed and, now that you’re both rested, attentive sexual intimacy.
4. Marriage book. Many wives love the idea of improving their marriage, making their relationship even better. So wrap up a marriage book and gift it to her. Or find one you can read together and put both of your names on it.
Ones on sexual intimacy I recommend include The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregoire, The Pursuit of Passion by Jeffrey Murphy and Julie Sibert, Sheet Music by Kevin Leman, and yeah, my own books: Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives and Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage. But guys, you know I shoot straight with you: If you hand your sex-reluctant wife a Christian sex book with an attitude of “gimme more sex,” that will not be seen as a gift. If you choose to give her an intimacy resource, you might want to wrap up 1, 2, or even 3 books for yourself on marriage, romance, and meeting her emotional needs that you promise to read in the new year . . . and then do it.
5. Sleepwear. Notice that I did not say “lingerie.” Even though I’m a fan of lingerie and have even given husbands tips on this kind of shopping for their wives, consider getting your wife sleepwear or lounge wear that makes her feel truly pampered. Think luxury more than revealing.
Pay attention to the feel of the fabric, choosing something soft or silky or snuggly that will make her feel like a million bucks. Personally, I adore the swank nightgowns and peignoir sets of the 1930s and 1940s films I’ve watched. But by paying attention to what your wife likes, you can probably find something in that realm but more luxurious — whether it’s satin pajamas or a silky cotton nightgown. Splurge on something she can wear while sleeping or lounging and feel fabulous in.
Now it’s other wives’ turn! What would you love to get for Christmas from your husband?
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What does the Bible say about sexual intimacy?
Quite a lot actually. From marriage-specific scriptures to biblical principles, Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage guides Christian wives through weekly devotions that shed light on God’s gift of marital sex.
Each week includes a Bible passage, application, questions, and a prayer. These short devotions will deepen your understanding of God’s design of sexuality and encourage you toward a holier, happier, and hotter marriage.