Hot, Holy & Humorous

A Prayer for Your Sexual Intimacy

When I started this series on Praying More for your marriage and your sexual intimacy, I admitted that I didn’t know exactly what it would look like. How would have a whole year of blog posts about praying? But God kept nudging me that this was the direction to take, so I stepped out in faith. Okay, okay, I shuffled out in faith, but I’m lengthening my strides week by week.

Today I have this strong sense that I just need to write a prayer. One that you and I can both say for our marriages and our marriage beds. I hope you’ll join me.

A Prayer for Your Sexual Intimacy with PRAY in the background

Dear Heavenly Father,

I really didn’t know what I was getting into when I got married. Yes, of course, I prepared in some ways, and even tried to figure out some things ahead of time about what sex would look like in our marriage. But, as You know, Lord, it’s different going through the experience and dealing with my unique husband. Also, I couldn’t have foreseen the seasons we’d go through — times when sex was good, and times when sex was a struggle.

I want to bring my concerns, my hurt, my longings all before You and lay them at Your feet. I cast all my anxieties on You because I know You care for me (1 Peter 5:7). Guide me to the path I should take and teach me Your way (Psalm 25:9).

Now let’s start with this body You gave me. It’s an amazing creation, able to accomplish so much automatically and at my will. I thank you for all the workings of my body that allow me to go through my days and do what I need to do. But when it comes to sex, it’s not always been an easy road. At times, getting aroused with my husband can be difficult, and at other times, my body is ready to go when there isn’t a chance in the world that we can have sex. How fair is that?! Orgasms can be like my best friend, eager to hang out with me, or my nemesis, avoiding me at every turn. I don’t adore every inch of my appearance, my body does weird things in certain angles (like why is my stomach hanging down like that? — blech), and flexibility feels like a thing of the past.

I need to see myself how You see me, how You designed my body, and how You blessed me to be with my husband. I also need more understanding of my body and how to help it cooperate with the sexual intimacy I need and want to have in my marriage. Help me to identify real issues that need addressing through medical assistance or counseling or exercise, and to have the purposefulness and persistence to follow through. Place before me the right resources to deal with those concerns.

Help me to feel beautiful. Give both me and my husband an acceptance and appreciation of my body’s own sexuality and help us learn how I can experience both pleasure and intimacy in the marriage bed.

My God, I also struggle with my background. I brought baggage into my marriage — teachings about sex that weren’t in line with Your Word, experiences that colored my perception of sexuality, and labels that I carried in my mind about myself and about men. Please wash away all the debris and replace it with truth.

Help me step by step to replace the negative self-talk in my mind with messages that align with Your design for sex in my marriage. Help me to demolish every argument and pretension against Your will for my marriage bed, to take captive of every thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Transform my mind so that I will know Your will for me, even in the bedroom (Romans 12:2).

You are a God who heals, so I also pray that You will heal any rifts between me and my husband. It is indeed good and pleasant when Your people live together in unity! (Psalm 133:1). Where my husband and I do not see eye-to-eye on sexual intimacy, I pray that we can move toward unity. Help us to listen to one another, to communicate about difficult issues, and to make the personal changes we need to make to find common ground.

And this weekend, today, even now, I pray that you’ll open up my heart and my body to taking even one step in the right direction. While I long for a Red Sea moment, when You perform some great miracle that makes my marriage and marriage bed a perfect reflection of Your design, I recognize that more of my Christian life is walking faithfully with You. With Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path, showing me only the bit of road ahead that I need to see (Psalm 119:105). Help me take my next step in the right direction, and the one after that, and the one after that. Until I am striding along on the road You want me to be on, and my husband and I are moving toward greater intimacy and more honor to You, our Father.

Lord, what I haven’t said here, You already know. Where I don’t know what to pray, the Spirit intercedes for me (Romans 8:26). You are, and will always be, my Savior.

In Jesus’s name, Amen.

13 thoughts on “A Prayer for Your Sexual Intimacy”

  1. Hi J,
    I feel that this is a prayer that I have been praying and although written more for a wife perspective, I felt as the husband it is equally true.

  2. Thank you so much for this prayer. You have been able to put into words exactly what I have been praying but haven’t been able to find the words for myself. I thank God so much for the Holy Spirit who prays on our behalf when we can’t find the words we need. Thank you for a very timely post. NB

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  6. This is very soul connecting for me,but I think you can come up with the male type of prayers next time. Because what I observed here on your blog,it is more of a wife things,please try to balance it. I bless you in Jesus name.

    1. Yes, I do gear these posts more toward wives. From time to time, I write to the husbands, but my mission is really to minister to wives. Thanks for reading, though. I always appreciate the husbands who read and follow! Many blessings.

  7. Thanks for this Prayer this is exactly what I needed for my marriage. God bless you and co tinge to be a blessing to many.

  8. Omgee i thank you for this prayer, i was reading this as if i wrote it myself or as if u were me.I will continue to pray for my sexual marriage bed, i just want my husband to feel as if im the only woman he wants to sleep with in Jesus name.PLEASE PRAY FOR US…my husband sex drive is higher than mine, i just want to give him what he want, when he wants it, however he wants it to please him.

    1. I love your attitude and desire to please your husband. But when I read this — “i just want to give him what he want, when he wants it, however he wants it to please him” — I just have to point out that God created sex for you too. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7:3, satisfying the wife’s sexual desire is mentioned first: “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (ESV). If you’re struggling with low sex drive, I encourage you to check out resources that will help you awaken your natural sensuality and sexual responsiveness, such as The Forgiven Wife, OysterBed7, and Sheila Gregoire’s online video course on Boosting Your Libido. Many blessings!

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