Hot, Holy & Humorous

Praying Before, During, and After Sex

Some time back, a reader challenged me to cover praying about sexual intimacy right in the middle of the act itself.

I thought it was a great idea! Unfortunately, I didn’t think I was the right person to write it, because Spock and I don’t do that. In fact, while some people apparently talk quite a bit during their sexual encounters, others of us have difficulty forming coherent sentences while in the throes of passion. I feel pretty sure that any attempt to pray aloud during sex would merely result in something like Romans 8:26 describes: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (ESV).

However, I have at times imagined God’s presence in the room. That more meditation than praying, but it helped me to view the physical experience of making love as having a spiritual component that delights our Heavenly Father. So I appreciate the importance of acknowledging God in our moment of sexual intimacy.

With that in mind, let’s cover some ideas for praying before, during, and after sex.

Blog post title + husband and wife hands clasped on bed


Praying beforehand is often the easiest sell, because many spouses understand how prayer could help them have the right mindset going into the sexual encounter. If you’re struggling with getting in the mood, you can pray for God to awaken your desire. If you’ve experienced difficulty connecting recently, you can pray for unity in your pleasure and intimacy. If you’ve had a hard time sharing your body, you can pray to see your nakedness in the marriage bed as God and your spouse see it — that is, beautiful. You can also simply thank God for this opportunity to express and nurture intimacy.

It could be worthwhile to pray specific scriptures, adapting them to what you’re about to do. Here are a couple of brief examples:

Husband: Lord, how beautiful is my wife, my darling!
    Oh, how beautiful!
    Thank you for the beauty she displays inside and out.

WifeHow handsome is my husband, my beloved!
    Oh, how charming!
    Lord, may our bed be verdant.

Together: Lord, we ask you to rejoice and delight in us as we engage in sexual intimacy. 

Song of Songs 1:15-16, 1:4

We know that at the beginning of creation You made us male and female. For this reason a man leaves his father and mother and unites with his wife — as we did — and the two become one flesh. Indeed, we are no longer two, but one flesh. Bless our physical union tonight so that we both express and foster that deep intimacy You gave to marriage alone. Your Son said, “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” Join us together physically, emotionally, and spiritually in Your sight and take pleasure in our sexual intimacy.

Mark 10:6-9

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It might be easier to pray during early foreplay than when things get more hot-and-heavy. One lovely idea I’ve heard is praying over one another’s bodies; that is, as you view and touch one another, stop at various places to thank God for how He crafted that body part. Such an exercise might mimic the passages in Song of Songs chapter 4 or chapter 5 in which the husband and then the wife praise one another’s bodies, but instead directing those thoughts to the Creator Himself.

Another reader wrote me and shared that after he enters his wife, they pause and give glory to God before continuing. Such a prayer would certainly focus your mind on embracing this act in marriage as one of God’s good and perfect gifts (James 1:17). You can pause at penetration or any other time during lovemaking to thank God for His provision of physical intimacy in marriage.

Finally, let me just note that screaming, “Oh my God!” in the middle of an orgasm doesn’t technically count as praying. Though I suppose one could tag on a thank you or some such statement to make it qualify. 😉


Lying in one another’s arms, enjoying the afterglow of sexual intimacy, you could pray for the encounter you just had. Thank your Heavenly Father for the pleasure you experienced, the vulnerability you showed one another, the connection you felt, and the overall blessing of one another.

Consider Ephesians 5:31-32 and how this illuminates what you can pray about:  ” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

The sexual intimacy you have mirrors the relationship of God to His people, which He often compares to a husband and wife. This comparison appears not only in Ephesians, but in other places like Isaiah 54:5, Hosea 2:19, and 2 Corinthians 11:2. Keeping that in mind, it’s good not only to give God gratitude for the lovemaking act but for this glimpse at the intimacy God desires to have with us.

So what do y’all think? Have you ever prayed before, during, or after sex? If so, how have you approached God in prayer and how has that experience impacted you and your marriage bed?

same image as above, sized for Pinterest

14 thoughts on “Praying Before, During, and After Sex”

  1. Does praying that my hamstrings don’t cramp up before we are finished count?
    Seriously, thanks, J. Great topic. God has given us the gift of prayer to augment EVERY aspect of our lives!

  2. Awesome ideas for prayer. As someone who has struggled with dissociation and inappropriate sexual fantasies, I will pray in the middle of a sexual encounter that God helps me embrace our marital intimacy, and rid me of those thoughts. I also pray for the ability to focus on my spouse. These are silent prayers between me and God, I don’t involve my spouse. This could work for people struggling with porn imagery in the marriage bed too.

  3. I tried the prayers during foreplay, my husband was giggling though through out, something I haven’t heard him do in a long time. I NEVER thought about praying about sex, I had always felt guilty about sex, but not last night.
    Plus it felt good hearing him thank God for my intimate parts and for the gift of having me as a wife.
    once again, thank you J.

  4. Wow, I never thought about praying before sex, let alone praying during or after sex. This gives me something to think about…

  5. A Beautiful idea!

    I’m not even a religious man, but when it comes to my wife, I’m a believer!

    Well, at least in her, who is such a beautiful woman, indeed! She is the delight of my life, and I have been incredibly in love with her for over 40 years! May it continue for many more!

  6. God is doing owsome things in owsome ways. I know that God will awake and incrise my sexual drive and libido, to have and enjoy physical sexual intimacy with my lovely and beautiful wife.

  7. This is funny! Why? Because my wife looked this up because I prayed during sex with her. It was weird to me st first, but I felt led to try it. The more I prayed, the more comfortable I felt. And more importantly, the more she seemed to enjoy what was going on. The crazy thing is I only started because she didn’t pray for me after I asked her, so I thought maybe I would lead. She is an amazing woman who prays and things change! I don’t know what I was expecting, but I KNEW something would happen! But she never prayed, so I jumped all in and started praying, and it was amazing! Why would I expect any less from our amazing God! The level of intimacy increased in a spiritual and natural way, and we were both thankful for the experience because it was a first for both of us. It should be something couples try. Who knows us better than God does? Having His assistance in loving the person we are one with is a good thing! I look forward to the day she prays for me while she physically provides me with an amazing sense of pleasure! Having both spiritual and natural needs met at once is a blessing that I never thought about before! May God bless you all! Thanks for the article! More people need it than you know.

  8. I think it is a great idea to pray before lovemaking. The enemy tries to attack marriage so much. Soul ties from previous relationships, porno and other things can hinder love making, which God ordained for his married couples.

  9. I aim a prayer after sex with a pure sober woman. Prayer have no impact when not pure. So cleansing the body during good sober sex with a woman who didn`t drink for at least 40 days is the goal while the purpose is to spell a prayer that can be finally accepted. Just a theory to be discussed.

    1. I believe all prayers made in faith, earnestness, and humility are heard. Only a handful of things are said to impede our prayers, such unforgiveness toward others (see Mark 11:25), wrong motives (James 4:3), mistreatment of your spouse (1 Peter 3:7), and cherishing sinfulness (Psalm 66:17-19). Drinking isn’t one of them. In fact, in Matthew 26, we see that Jesus and His disciples gathered around the Passover table and drank wine as part of their meal. Immediately afterward, they went to the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus spent the night deep in prayer.

      And I don’t know what “good sober sex” is, why you say “woman” instead of wife, and why the woman not drinking is mentioned and not the man’s drinking habits.

  10. Hi there! May God bless you for such a wonderful article full of blessings. I just want to know how to pray before the sexual intimacy so as able to avoid unwanted pregnancies before our baby planning time.
    Simply because we do not want to use the Family planning techniques, as its advised universally simply because it kills the baby inside and its unhealthy for any woman’s body.

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