Periodically, I’ve come across lists of words people use for erogenous zones and genitalia. From what I recall, all of those had both good ideas and icky ideas.
In an effort to equip Christians with a lot of sexy ideas, I’ve compiled a list of 101 words for private areas, none of which are curse words or generally considered vulgar. Still, make sure your choices are okay with your specific mate!
Some words are scientific, some straightforward, some poetic, some funny. But the intent of this list is to inspire you to speak positively and creatively about your body and your spouse’s body.
I have a feeling this post will bring readers who don’t usually come to Hot, Holy & Humorous. If you’re one of those, you should know that I write for married couples and encourage you to check out what God says about sexual intimacy!
Breasts
A woman’s breasts includes fatty tissue, areolas, and nipples. Breasts come in various sizes and shapes, including athletic, bell-shaped, east-west, and round.
Whatever they look like, though, a woman’s breasts tend to be an erogenous zone for one or both spouses. As Proverbs 5:19 says to a husband about his wife: “May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”
Here’s a variety of ways to refer to a wife’s breasts:
- bon bons
- boobs
- bosom
- bust
- chest
- chesticles / breasticles
- chi chis
- coconuts
- cookies
- cupcakes
- fawns
- fruit
- the girls
- Grand Tetons (or another mountain reference)
- lady humps
- lovelies
- mangoes (from Bend It Like Beckham)
- nipples
- pillows
- rack
- second base
- tatas
- taters
- twins
- yabos (from Hocus Pocus)
Vulva
Vulva refers to all the external female genitalia, including the pubic mound, labia majora, labia minora, clitoral bulb, vaginal opening, and Bartholin’s gland ducts (pea-sized openings where secretions emerge).
Song of Songs seems to prefer the word “garden” in reference to the wife’s vulva, but below are many options.
- bajingo
- bud
- cave of mysteries
- clitoris
- cookie
- core
- flower (also rose, tulip)
- folds
- garden
- honey pot
- hooha
- kitty
- lady bits
- (vaginal) lips
- magician’s hat (his part disappears inside)
- muffin
- nub
- papaya
- petals
- sheath
- sweet spot
- tunnel of love / love tunnel
- vagina
- vajayjay
- velvet glove
Penis
The penis is a fascinating body part. The more one learns about it, the more one appreciates God’s creation. (See Are You a Fan of Your Husband’s Man-Part?)
Given how many labels men have come up with for this (favorite) body part they own, this probably could have been a post with 101 words for penis. But we’ll stick to the ones below.
- boner
- erection
- Excalibur (yes, like King Arthur’s legendary sword)
- fire hose
- hard-on
- head
- hot dog
- johnson
- joystick
- love muscle
- love pistol
- man-part
- member
- Mr. Happy
- mushroom (especially for a circumcised penis)
- pecker
- peter
- phallus
- popsicle (see my own post on this!)
- rocket
- rod
- sausage
- snake
- soldier (or hey, general!)
- stiffy
- tool
- trouser monkey
- wand
- weenie / wiener
- willy
- wood
Testicles
Having raised two sons, I’ve also heard a lot of names for testicles. (You moms of boys know what I’m talking about!) These delicate semen factories get lots of labels as well.
Here are some options for what to call hubby’s testicles:
- balls
- berries
- cojones
- dangling participles
- fruit basket
- gonads
- huevos (Spanish for “eggs”)
- jewels (or family jewels)
- junk
- marbles
- nards
- nuts
- package
- pearls
- rocks
- sack
- scrotum
- stones
- testes
- wonkas (apparently because they’re between a willy and a chocolate factory)
Okay, that wraps it up! Be sure to check these out with your spouse! We should show respect for one another in the bedroom.
If you want, you can download a checklist. Fill out one checklist together or print two copies, fill them out separately, and then share your results.
A big thank you to the ladies in my higher drive wife group who made great suggestions, many of which are included here.
For breasts…don’t forget “pumpkins-on-the-porch”!
“Grand Teton” actually means “large breast” or “large nipple” in French. For those at the opposite end of the scale, there is the IBTC – the Itty Bitty Titty Committee! Some wives may not find this term flattering, but I did come across it via a company selling women’s athletic gear, including “cute” sports bras for the less-endowed.
Pumpkins? Interesting. I hadn’t heard that one!
And “Itty Bitty Titty Committee”? I always heard that as an insult, so I’d be careful with that one.
I had also generally heard “IBTC” coming from the direction of boys and young men, in derision of females they considered not worth their attentions. But coming from other women – especially those who consider themselves members of said Committee – I think it takes on a more humorous tone, or at least allows women not to take any “deficiency” in that department too seriously. As the catalog pointed out, smaller boobs get the cuter bras…and we generally don’t see runway models with large chests. I myself would not use this term in reference to anyone, but I would not think it entirely inappropriate either, depending on the context.
As a life long member of the IBTC, I find it humorous, but I also seem to lack most of the body image issues most women seem to have. I certainly wouldn’t casually toss it out towards another woman unless I knew full well it wasn’t a touchy subject for her.
So many words for many parts,
just find the one you seek!
But this rather breaks my heart;
I can no longer speak.
Tumours took my voice away,
to try to whisper’s not worthwhile,
but the devil, yeah, will rue this day
for I still can smile.
A smile to add to gentle touch
will lift the darkest hour,
and thanks to God who’s granted such
vital and uplifting power
to make the world a better place
through channeling His love and grace.
Thanks J, for this list. Some we already use. I laughed at some of them and your remarks.
Moby (Dick) as in a whale ready for a swim in the ocean of love.
Hahaha!
haha I love this. I usually think of mine as the Hulk when its time for some love making, the rest of the time its Bruce banner but its before he learns to control it so it can at any moment turn to the Hulk again.
LOL.
The Wonkas.
Quality.
We call them boobies as Dads ear muffs or a great set of antlers.
I like almost all of them. There needs to be different names for different times places or events. You can even use more than one in same sentence.
Lots of male posts here (ooh, there’s another euphemism!) so I’ll add my two cents. I call my husband’s ‘bag’ his ‘backpack’. His ‘main event’ is, to me, his you-know. 😀
He likes that twin fawns thing from the song of Songs. My response: what,spotted, brown and hairy?
Yeah, some of the symbolic language in Song of Songs misses us today. 🙂
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Number 102. Vulva • Love Canal.
Wife approved. 🙂
You are taking the humorous part too seriously!
I have recently discovered your blog and I feel it’s son clean, readable, and enjoyable!
Thank you so much!
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