Welcome to another monthly roundup of recent posts, podcast episodes, recommended resources, and much more. Scroll through to find what you might have missed or your next great resource for marriage.
This Month on the Blog
I’d prefer to blog twice a week, but lately I’ve averaged one post per week. Hoping to increase that soon!
- Is Mutually Satisfying Sexual Intimacy Simple or Difficult?What if having mutually satisfying sexual intimacy is simpler than we think? J. Parker breaks down what’s easy and what’s difficult about it.
- What It Feels Like to Have No Sex DriveAs J. Parker goes through a season of low-to-no sex drive, she shares what it feels like. And how to have a good sex life anyway.
- Q&A with J: “I’m a Fast Finisher” – Premature EjaculationA husband writes to say he’s a “fast finisher” and asks for ways to delay climax. J suggests several ways to address premature ejaculation.
From Sex Chat for Christian Wives Podcast
From Knowing Her Sexually Podcast
My Post at KHS Ministry
Click the image below to read.
A Few Great Reads Elsewhere
- I adore this viewpoint from Gary Thomas’s guest post: A Prayer That Left Me Gloriously Ruined | Shaunti Feldhahn. I’d call it a must-read!
- And speaking of Gary Thomas, I read this post a few days ago, thought it was good, but didn’t share it much. Days later, I’m still thinking about what Gary said and how important the message is—specifically, that no resource is right for everyone. Who Shouldn’t Read My Books: When Writings on Marriage and Spiritual Formation Collide | Gary Thomas (You can see a similar theme in my post Should You Be Reading My Blog?)
- I missed this post back in March, but it’s well worth reading! From Juli Slattery, a deeper look at what the Bible says about sex. Purity Culture: Lose the Lies, Keep Your Faith | Authentic Intimacy
Recommended Resources & Products
I had the pleasure of chatting with Dan Purcell of the Get Your Marriage On! podcast. We talked about one of my favorite subjects: higher desire wives. (And can you tell I cut my own bangs during the pandemic?)
For a few years, Carlie Kercheval has been running the Wives of Integrity Conference. This year, my good friend and fellow blogger Julie Sibert, of Intimacy in Marriage, is one of the speakers. (Also featured is another favorite: Ngina Otiende of Intentional Today.) Check out Julie’s post about the conference or just click the button below to register or learn more.
What J’s Up to These Days
- In case anyone is still tracking my chronic illness, it turns out that, on top of other things, I had a root canal infection. Taking care of that has alleviating quite a bit of my headache and given me a little extra energy. I have more issues to address, but no worries—I’ve designated 2021 my year of the Total Health Makeover!
- Lately the weather has been beautiful here, giving me the opportunity to use my newly purchased hammock. I hope you’re getting to spend some lovely time outdoors as well!
- And stay tuned for the 2021 Virtual Sex Seminar. I recently submitted my workshop all about foreplay and will be sending out info on how you can sign up!
Biblical Inspiration for the Coming Month
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about developments in the last few years in my personal life, in our politics and culture, and in the Church and ministry. While I’m thrilled when light shines in dark places and thus reveals both error and/or evil, I worry at times that we’re more invested in vengeance than justice and mercy.
In particular, I’ve concluded that a lot of people with good goals end up acting based on fear, grievance, or outrage. Not that there aren’t things we should fear, legitimate grievances, and a place for righteous outrage. However, if we’re not actively asking ourselves about our motivations and what our actions will produce, we can waste time on the wrong things and lose the opportunity to make real change.
This happens in marriage, of course. We get caught up in fear, grievance, and outrage over a lack of sex, pressure for sex, betrayal by our spouse, etc. Yes, those are all real problems that 100% need to be addressed. But what’s our goal? How effective is our approach? What kind of person are we becoming in pursuit of our goals? (See Resolution Week: Would Your Spouse Say You’re a Christian?)
Anyway, here’s a better way to digest that food for thought. Not my words, but God’s.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary:
‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him;Romans 12:17-20
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’