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Should You Get a Sex Pillow?

Should You Get a Sex Pillow

If you don’t know what a “sex pillow” is, it’s basically any pillow designed specifically for sexual positioning. You can find various shapes, but the most common is a wedge.

I hadn’t considered getting a sex pillow until we purchased a memory foam mattress. Let me tell you, for a woman who has struggled with back tightness and pain almost her whole life, this mattress has been a godsend. I used to wake up with headaches, but that hasn’t happened in a very long time. Rather, my body — and my back — feels cocooned in that lovely memory foam, and I sleep like the dead.

However, when you’re making love, having your knees, bum, or whatever sink into the memory foam makes things more challenging. So I finally decided why not give it a shot? and ordered a wedge pillow online.

You can find them from several makers, but if you want to know the one we bought, it’s the Liberator wedge:

So how does it work? This wedge pillow is made of firmer stuff than my mattress or most pillows and is unlikely to lose shape. You can use it on the floor or on your bed or any other surface you desire. Husband or wife can lie, sit, or drape over it to facilitate better access.

For instance, she can lie with her torso on the bed and her hips rising up on the wedge, so that she is better exposed and accessible for oral sex or intercourse. He could also lie in the same way to allow her a more comfortable posture to reach him for oral sex. She can lean over the wedge with her torso inclining downward and the highest point of the wedge on her hips to make “doggy-style” more comfortable. (I still think we need to rename that position.)

So far, we’ve found the wedge to be helpful. Not only did it combat the sinking-mattress issue, it’s been great for our aging joints and muscles. It takes some of the pressure off getting your body how you want it when you have a bit of help from a pillow. And it makes things easier to reach as well.

Now it requires a little trial and effort to figure out how to position your body best on the pillow. We’ve had to stop and say things like, “Hang on, let me get the pillow right.” But once there, things continue just fine. We haven’t used the pillow in all the ways a couple can, but it’s met our purposes.

Who would I recommend a sex pillow for? Honestly, if I were 25 years old again, I wouldn’t buy this pillow. My body was practically a gymnast’s compared to the almost-50-year-old body I’m in now. Things just hurt now that never imagined hurting back then. But it’s a great addition for couples in the middle years and beyond or others who struggle with muscle and joint issues. Not that younger, healthy marrieds can’t give it a shot, but it’s a fairly expensive pillow so you might think about whether that’s where you want to spend your money.

Our pillow came in a microfiber covering, which stood out like a neon light against our regular bedding. Since I didn’t want to advertise to the other people living in our house, “This is a strange pillow — please ask me about it,” I covered it in a regular zippered pillowcase which makes it blend in with everything else. Just know that this particular brand aims for a luxurious look which probably won’t match your decor.

Sex pillows come in other shapes and sizes, some more curved, some larger, some smaller. Hey, you can even buy a sex couch if you’re so inclined. The smaller pillow also made by Liberator (known as the Jazz) probably would have worked fine for us; however, it might be easier to work with a wider wedge. If you decide to take a look, just peruse the offerings and see what you think would address the issues you have in your sexual positioning.

One final note: You might want to stick to Amazon or a Christian marital aid retailer like MarriedDance. The sites for sex pillow manufacturers can be too revealing in their imagery. I’d be remiss if I didn’t warn you.

Should you get a sex pillow? It’s up to you. But ours is saving us some discomfort, and I’m happy we bought it.

28 thoughts on “Should You Get a Sex Pillow?”

  1. We love our sex pillow! We purchased a ramp early in our marriage and have gotten lots of use out of it. I wish we had room for an Esse lounger by Liberator. They look fun.

  2. My hubby wanted to try one a couple years ago. It’s definitely useful for some positions, but we usually forget we have it. He didn’t go the traditional “sex pillow” route though. Instead, he bought a wedge-shaped pillow for pregnant women to use lying down. It’s supposed to support the belly and aid in comfort. I think the cost was less than the ones marketed for sex.

    1. I was going to say, not at all a bad investment for a young couple if they are planning on having children! Being heavily pregnant myself I can see it being useful for more than just sex! Wouldn’t mind one for the intended purpose as well 😉

  3. My wife and I both have knee injuries and ailments and I have been contemplating buying one. You’ve sealed the deal for me. Vis-a-vis the memory foam mattress I have read other places it’s not highly sex friendly so it’s good to know there is a solution if we choose to buy one. Although the larger furniture looks fun, it’s really expensive for something you can’t sleep or sit on otherwise. And how do you explain the Esse to visitors. “Uh, it’s a uh fabric sculpture? Yeah, that’s it!”

  4. My wife and I purchased the wedge and ramp five years ago and all we can say is, WOW! The angles afforded us by using them put a super charged turbo in our love life. We later bought the smaller wedge to take on vacations and get a ways.

    1. Interesting. I wondered if the smaller wedge would be a good option to port around on trips.

  5. Can you recommend any reputable Christian marital (almost wrote martial there) aid sites as you say? I think I’ve seen a link somewhere on here before but I can’t find it now… it’s a scary thing to even Google.

    1. Married Dance, a Christian sex toy store, does not have revealing imagery and promotes sex within marriage. Here’s the link: They are the one Christian marital aid site where I saw sex pillows. If anyone has another source, chime in!

  6. We don’t have any aches and pains yet, but our wedge changes angles so that it is more stimulating for him and there is less of the discomfort I sometimes experience with depth. So even for 25 year olds, a wedge can be helpful.

  7. We got the bolster pillow from MarriedDance. It is awesome and the great thing about it is it looks like a decorative pillow and we just keep it on the bed!!

      1. Has anyone reading these blogs ever tried a foam bed wedge for sex (sold just to raise your shoulders)? I just discovered several listed, either mail order or over-the-counter for $20 to $35. Are they any good?

        1. I don’t think those wedges are meant for supporting you during sex. My wife had one of those during her first pregnancy to support her belly. It held up OK at first, but after a few nights it lost its shape. We’ve used Liberator products for over 10 years and none of them have lost their shape or softened in that time. The Liberator wedges are made of a firm but soft foam that will support a lot of weight for a long time without loosing its shape. The angles of the Liberator shapes are perfect for their intended use.

          1. As for the Liberator ramp not losing its shape, I have used mine to sleep on for several nights when I had a bad cold and needed to elevate myself to prevent coughing. As a pretty big guy (5’8″ 290 lb), I think this is a pretty rigorous test (6-7 hours for 5+ nights in a row) and it didn’t seem to have any last compression effects. I have done this at least twice.

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  9. I freakin love the Liberator wedge and ramp! I say even younger couples should get them, in fact I bought one for a newly married couple and they say it was the best gift they’d ever gotten. Sorry to be graphic, but gettin my wife from behind when she’s thrown over the wedge is basically the best feeling in the world. What a difference 7 degrees makes!

  10. My wife and I love the wedge and ramp. We’ve had them for about 10 years now. Like some have said previously, you can hit things and get sensations that you’ve never experienced otherwise. They go with us on all of our weekend getaways. We’ve also dreamed of getting the Esse, but the funds never seem to be there lol. We’re not too concerned what other Christian adults think when they see the shapes sitting out, our close friends know we’re a Christian couple that really enjoys having sex.

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