If you don’t know what a “sex pillow” is, it’s basically any pillow designed specifically for sexual positioning. You can find various shapes, but the most common is a wedge.
I hadn’t considered getting a sex pillow until we purchased a memory foam mattress. Let me tell you, for a woman who has struggled with back tightness and pain almost her whole life, this mattress has been a godsend. I used to wake up with headaches, but that hasn’t happened in a very long time. Rather, my body — and my back — feels cocooned in that lovely memory foam, and I sleep like the dead.
However, when you’re making love, having your knees, bum, or whatever sink into the memory foam makes things more challenging. So I finally decided why not give it a shot? and ordered a wedge pillow online.
You can find them from several makers, but if you want to know the one we bought, it’s the Liberator wedge:
So how does it work? This wedge pillow is made of firmer stuff than my mattress or most pillows and is unlikely to lose shape. You can use it on the floor or on your bed or any other surface you desire. Husband or wife can lie, sit, or drape over it to facilitate better access.
For instance, she can lie with her torso on the bed and her hips rising up on the wedge, so that she is better exposed and accessible for oral sex or intercourse. He could also lie in the same way to allow her a more comfortable posture to reach him for oral sex. She can lean over the wedge with her torso inclining downward and the highest point of the wedge on her hips to make “doggy-style” more comfortable. (I still think we need to rename that position.)
So far, we’ve found the wedge to be helpful. Not only did it combat the sinking-mattress issue, it’s been great for our aging joints and muscles. It takes some of the pressure off getting your body how you want it when you have a bit of help from a pillow. And it makes things easier to reach as well.
Now it requires a little trial and effort to figure out how to position your body best on the pillow. We’ve had to stop and say things like, “Hang on, let me get the pillow right.” But once there, things continue just fine. We haven’t used the pillow in all the ways a couple can, but it’s met our purposes.
Who would I recommend a sex pillow for? Honestly, if I were 25 years old again, I wouldn’t buy this pillow. My body was practically a gymnast’s compared to the almost-50-year-old body I’m in now. Things just hurt now that never imagined hurting back then. But it’s a great addition for couples in the middle years and beyond or others who struggle with muscle and joint issues. Not that younger, healthy marrieds can’t give it a shot, but it’s a fairly expensive pillow so you might think about whether that’s where you want to spend your money.
Our pillow came in a microfiber covering, which stood out like a neon light against our regular bedding. Since I didn’t want to advertise to the other people living in our house, “This is a strange pillow — please ask me about it,” I covered it in a regular zippered pillowcase which makes it blend in with everything else. Just know that this particular brand aims for a luxurious look which probably won’t match your decor.
Sex pillows come in other shapes and sizes, some more curved, some larger, some smaller. Hey, you can even buy a sex couch if you’re so inclined. The smaller pillow also made by Liberator (known as the Jazz) probably would have worked fine for us; however, it might be easier to work with a wider wedge. If you decide to take a look, just peruse the offerings and see what you think would address the issues you have in your sexual positioning.
One final note: You might want to stick to Amazon or a Christian marital aid retailer like MarriedDance. The sites for sex pillow manufacturers can be too revealing in their imagery. I’d be remiss if I didn’t warn you.
Should you get a sex pillow? It’s up to you. But ours is saving us some discomfort, and I’m happy we bought it.