We can overemphasize the physicality and techniques of sex. But once you’ve built that emotional and spiritual connection in your marriage bed, why not discover some good moves that can bring intense pleasure to your husband?
For many wives, knowing more of what they’re doing in the bedroom empowers them to embrace their own sexuality, feel confident about themselves, and get aroused by the effect they have on their man.
So let’s talk about five ways to knock your hubby’s bedroom socks off!
Quick warning: Some of the following is pretty specific, so if you visualize as you read, please make sure it’s an image of your spouse in your mind. If you struggle with that, step away.
1. Undress yourself slowly.
How do you eat a drive-through hamburger versus a gourmet chocolate dessert? I suspect your partake of the latter more slowly, savoring every bite. Not that I’m opposed to hamburger days, but why not tease out the experience of undressing yourself as if you’re the gourmet dessert. (You totally are, you sexy wife, you!)
A little background music and low lighting can set the mood. Let your husband know that you’ll do the undressing, and he just gets to watch. Then take your time slipping off each item of clothing and tossing it onto the floor or over to him. For added excitement, a wife can touch herself as she goes, stroking her leg sensually as she removes her skirt, running her hands over her breasts as she removes her shirt, even stroking a finger over her pubic mound or lower as she removes her panties.
2. Give him real access.
Many wives feel uncomfortable spreading their legs really wide. But there’s something really arousing to a husband about his wife confidently, unabashedly opening up that area fully so he can have access to see, touch, and pleasure her.
There are a few ways you can give him real access to your vulva. Sit up in a bed or on a chair, tilt your hips forward, and bend your knees out wide. Or lie down, tilt your hips forward, and make a butterfly pose with your legs. Or spread out full-eagle on the bed, one leg to the east, one to the west. For added oomph, specifically invite your husband into your garden with words, a come-hither gesture, or stroking your own vulva a few times to ready the area for his attention.
3. Make it a “yes” night.
Want to know what turns you both on? It’s actually good if you just tell each other, rather than expecting you both to be mind-readers. But for a twist on that, limit what you say during a sexual encounter to the just the word “yes.”
That is, he can only direct you with a yes and should say yes when something feels good. If he wants, you can do the same. But make sure to vary your yeses, showing your enthusiasm for certain sensations. A whispered “yes” and a shouted “yes” strike a different chord with your lover, so use volume, pitch, and tone to communicate your excitement and enjoyment of sexual intimacy.
4. Stroke the underside.
I’ve written about this area before, but there’s a section between a man’s testicles and his anus that can be especially sensitive. It’s called the perineum, or colloquially you might hear the term “taint.” By stroking that underside, you are in contact with the base interior of your husband’s penis, as well as indirectly stimulating the prostate gland, which can be an erogenous zone for men.
Massage or press that perineum on its own or when giving him oral sex, or hook your arm around to stroke him while engaging in intercourse. Pressure against this area can feel really good and intensify his orgasm.
5. Take charge.
Most husbands love seeing their wives filled with enthusiasm for sex — they want their woman to really get into the experience. And nothing says, “I want this, I want you,” quite like taking charge of the movements of intercourse.
Straddle your husband, and then either squat to use your legs to pump up and down on him or sit and rock your hips back and forth. Add in a hip-circle now and then to mix things up and get a new sensation. You can also use a chair, asking him to sit first, then sit on top of him, straddle the chair, and go at your own rhythm until you, he, or both of you reach climax. (For more ideas on positions, Christian Friendly Sex Positions also has an entire section for Wife in Control.)
And for all kinds of ideas on amping up your pleasure and his, check out my book, Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design.
20 thoughts on “5 Techniques to Knock Hubby’s Bedroom Socks Off”
#1 and #5 are the biggest ones for me. With #5, I think we can remember that poll I took that said men would prefer awesome passion over an awesome body any day of the week.
I have such a unique husband (I consider myself the higher drive spouse. He sometimes refuses me and he puts firm limits on what is and isnt allowed in our marriage bed).
#1 yes, he enjoys watching me dress and undress. The exception was during his refusal stage.
#2 nope, nope, nope. He does not like spread eagle. He doesn’t like looking. Even in porn that’s a nope.
#3 our sex life is so limited right now that notjing new is allowed and so playing these little games wouldn’t work.
#4 he’s not that into it. He doesn’t mind it, but it doesn’t do anything more for him.
#5 Yes, he likes me doing most of the “work,” but then again, I can’t take charge beyond the boundaries he set.
Huh. So what does he like? I’m sad that he’s set boundaries that seem related to his own struggles with sexuality; there’s clearly something deeper going on there, and I pray that he addresses it. Many blessings, Libl!
He likes WOT PIV. He likes seeing me nude, but in an artistic, beautiful, feminine “French Painting” way. Spread Eagle is for gynecologists and child birth. There is no oral or manual.
I’m sorry, but I don’t know what WOT is,, I was able to find what PIV means.
I think husbands’ can be self-conscious. (I experienced some of that in my earlier years) Maybe about being self conscious about him touching or tasting a women’s intimate areas or her doing the same to his equipment.
I’m a bit of an optimist because libl’s husband looks at her body as a work of art and intimacy can progress in different twists and turns as we get older.
I look at intimacy between my spouse as a journey and at 58, it seems as if we are a little more adventurous with one another, than we were in our early years. I’m pray the same may happen to ilbi and her husband, whether you are 30, 40, 50 or older.
I’m sure there are men (whether he is younger or older) aren’t aware that a woman’s labia when she is aroused that it swells.
I never payed attention to that, until my spouse chatted with a friend about intimacy and got waxed and I noticed her labia swelling with desire to be with me. Which inspired me to become oral at least once a week after she showers.
Sites like this also reminds me what is going on inside a woman’s body (and mind) when she is filled with desire to be intimate with her husband.
It can boggle the mind if we men take the time to realize what happens to our spouse’s nipples (hardening), clitoris throbbing or labia swelling. But also giving her a scalp massage or kissing the back of her neck and shoulder area or even gently scratching her back.
(it is like her body is filled with non-sexual erogenous areas)
I think truthfully there are many men that do know how erogenous her intimate areas need to be feather touched and teased or that the clitoris when inflamed can feel like the center of the universe to her when she desires to be with her husband.
I think my wife takes charge with me, when I haven’t kissed the back of her neck in the middle of the day, when neither of us are even thinking about sex. I do get a mental rush knowing she likes the attention.
It may not be for all wives, but it you haven’t out of the blue walk up to your husband, turn around and pull her hair away from your neck and ask him to kiss and nibble in the back of where the neck and shoulder area meets, try that as it feels as if the man is hypnotizing his wife. It may help him to slowly start of him to discover a different erogenous area the next time he kisses his wife.
He may find himself becoming very aroused when you and he weren’t even thinking about making love.
For anyone wondering… WOT = Woman On Top. PIV = Penis In Vagina (intercourse).
Also, quick an FYI, in my higher-drive wife group on Facebook, I posted this article with a few caveats, including that #3 probably wouldn’t work for most low-drive husbands. Because they might not respond well to “extra rules” when you’re just trying to get him in the game.
I’m really sorry Libl. Do you know why he is this way? Not every man is the same, but this isn’t normal to me. I am pretty anti-counseling for the most part but even I would say that therapy might be the best thing for your husband if he would agree.
So sorry, Libl. I continue to pray for you. It’s so frustrating to live with someone who needs to have such power and control within the marriage. 🙁
“empowers them to embrace their own sexuality, feel confident about themselves”
Striking a balance between vulnerable & confidence (without referring to S&M, submitting & dominating) seems to be the cats meow of sex. Both being active in the person really accomplishes what dreams are made of. This seems hard for people. Idk. We tend to be more of one than the other & we get intimidated by balance. Just generalizing here.
These tips did incite visions of my wife. Well balanced confidence & vulnerability is sexy.
If my wife did any of the 5 tips, I would feel like that I died and gone to heaven! LOL. Seriously, wife is very uncomfortable with all of these tips. She can’t even initiate sex because it’s too uncomfortable. I have accepted this is who she is and not make any requests beyond her comfort zone.
The title of this post entertains me…husband is Notorious for removing all garments but the foot coverings, getting caught up in the excitement, and the socks remain in place. Maybe if I try some of these he’ll remember to take care of the socks too!
Supposedly sex is better if the man’s feet are warm, EAM! So my husband says.
Haha! Knock his socks off…figuratively. 😉
(Sex is better when your feet are warm. Research says: Fun Findings about Sex)
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Amazing tips J, thank you…appreciate everyone’s prayers, we’ve had intercourse once in the last 5 plus years or is it 6….just found your site…she just has no desire and doesn’t see the point…kinda hurts for sure her feeling, I’m, we’re not important enough…God willing, God willing…I know he has a reason…God help me…God help us…LD folks, please, please value your spouse, your marriage, please don’t wait until it’s gone to wish you had taken them seriously…thank you, thank you…Keep helping, posting, wow, good, good stuff!!
Me too on the wishing it would work. Hubby doesn’t like to look at me, or touch me other than the boobs. Occasional back scratches, but I don’t think he’s ever kissed my neck, back, or belly let alone anything below that. Loves it when I perform oral and/or manual on him, but shudders at the thought of returning the favor.
Tried downloading the Christian marriage intimacy app that is all the rage. He said, foreplay, what’s that? And skipped right to the conversation questions. Once there headed to the finance area. We are financial advisors. This is one area we don’t need conversational help with. And I’ve not picked up the app since b/c I was so disappointed. *sigh*
Did you answer back, “Foreplay? Oh, that’s the thing I want a whole lot more of”? Don’t give up talking to him, calmly and respectfully, but persistently enough for him to understand that foreplay is a huge part of you feeling aroused and intimate. You could also just send him this link: Newsflash, Hubbies! She Loves Foreplay.
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