Welcome to another monthly roundup of recent posts, podcast episodes, recommended resources, and much more. Scroll through to find what you might have missed or your next great resource for marriage.
First, a Reminder!
What with pandemic and health issues, I haven’t been able to do much speaking in the last year or so! So I was thrilled to participate in another virtual sex seminar hosted by The Dating Divas.
My workshop covers the fun topic of Foreplay 101: The Basics of Arousal and Beyond. But I’m just one of 14 presenters, with all kinds of information about sex in marriage. Normally, the online seminar is $35, but with my unique link, you pay only $20!
Before you buy, let me cover a few Frequently Asked Questions:
- When is the seminar available? Within a few days of your purchase, you will be emailed a link where you can find and watch the video workshops online.
- How long will I have access? You have one full year after purchase to watch the videos, in your own home and on your own time.
- Where does the discount show up? (“I don’t see it!”) Once you land on the purchase page for my unique link, click Add to Cart then Check Out. Both of those screens will show the $35 original price, but at the third screen, you should see the discount! It will look like this:
Don’t worry—you will not have put in any payment information yet. If you don’t see the discount, go back and click the unique link again and start over.
You can also get a Sex Seminar Bundle, which includes all of this year’s content along with 9 fresh sessions from last year. That package includes TWO presentations from me: the one on foreplay and another one on dealing with varying sex drives. The bundle is regularly priced at $53, but with my unique link, it’s only $30! (Again, discount on the third screen.)
This Month on the Blog
I’d prefer to blog twice a week, but lately I’ve averaged one post per week. Hoping to increase that soon!
- Is Abstinence Before Marriage the Right Goal?Should Christian focus on making sure we refrain from sex before marriage? Or is there a different, higher goal we should pursue?
- “But What About…?”: Challenges to the Church’s Ban on Premarital SexWe look at some exceptions to the marriage-then-sex sequence in Scripture and whether the typical biblical example still applies.
- What Does the Bible Say About Premarital Sex?Is premarital sex wrong, or is that an outdated notion? What does the Bible really say about premarital sex? Let’s talk about it.
- Why I’ve Never Told a Reader to Seek DivorceIs divorce an option for believers? Should it be? Here’s why I haven’t personally told a reader to get a divorce.
From Sex Chat for Christian Wives Podcast
- Episode 106: Improve Your Relationship to Improve Your Sex Life
- Episode 107: Evaluating Sex Resources, with Phylicia Masonheimer
From Knowing Her Sexually Podcast
- Episode 30: What Your Wife Should Be Doing Differently
- Episode 31: Why Do Women Overextend Themselves?
My Post at KHS Ministry
Click the image below to read.
A Few Great Reads Elsewhere
- From my friend and fellow podcaster, a lovely analogy! Sex as a campfire. Is the Spark Gone from Your Sex Life? – Honeycomb & Spice
- This is an old post (2018), but I was recently revisiting some content written by a good friend. Lori Freeland is like me—writing both fiction and Christian content. I came across this article and loved it so much, I though it worth sharing again. 10 Things Every Wife Should Be Doing for Her Husband (crosswalk.com)
Recommended Resources & Products
Phylicia Masonheimer was a wonderful guest on our Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast, and she admitted that she listens to us regularly. Well, I listen to her too! And you might want to listen as well. Check out her Verity podcast for Christian women, with her ministry’s lovely tagline of “every woman a theologian.”
Sometimes it’s the little things that make a big difference. Post-nose surgery, I had very, very parched lips (had no choice but to sleep with my mouth open). I tried various lip balms I had here and there around my house, but only one alleviated the dryness. I was little surprised, but yep, it was the Milk & Silk lip balm made by one of our podcast sponsors, Share the Soap, that worked.
Hopefully, you don’t have the same reason to use it that I did! Here’s a better reason: KISSABLE LIPS. And while there, try some of their other natural products, from sensual massage oil to bath bombs.
What J’s Up to These Days
- More news from this year’s Total Health Makeover: I had nose surgery on May 13 to correct a deviated septum and some sinus issues. That did not solve all of my underlying issues (which include fatigue, body aches, and brain fog), but I am breathing better. I’ll keep y’all updated!
- If you emailed me anytime in the last year, it’s a toss-up on whether I’ve responded. I’m so sorry! All I can say is that I’m always a bit swamped with email, but this past year it’s been even harder to keep up. I’m making sporadic attempts to get back to y’all, but if I haven’t heard from me, please know it’s not that I don’t care. I do care, and I pray for those who write me, but if you need immediate help, you may want to search my site for answers (search bar is to the right), contact other sources, or seek online counseling.
Biblical Inspiration for the Coming Month
Is your marriage not what it should be? God longs to bring restoration.
But sometimes, I hear from a spouse who’s gone years without a good sex life and wonders if restoration of their marital intimacy will make up for everything they’ve gone through. On one hand, yes—restoration is incredible and beautiful and worthy of pursuit. But I won’t lie and say there isn’t some grief as well.
Consider the story of Job, one of the more memorable examples of suffering and restoration. Job suffers every kind of indignity, yet refuses to disown the LORD. At the end of his long journey, “the Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before” (42:10). This story always seemed to be taught as if everything was, therefore, okay. Job was restored, he had twice as much, all’s well that ends well.
But after experiencing a miscarriage, I read that story very differently. My second son, as much of a blessing as that was, didn’t replace the child from my failed pregnancy. Likewise, Job’s second seven sons and three daughters didn’t replace the first seven sons and three daughters who died. Surely, if he could, Job would want all of his children back, each and every one he sired and loved.
Restoration doesn’t mean having no grief for and scars from what was lost.
In my own marriage, our restoration has been worth every bit of the effort and struggle. Still, I’m sad for the words we said back then, the years we wasted, the way we dishonored God. I wish we would have pursued restoration sooner, yet God’s blessings continue to heal and renew us.
Take heart in knowing that you can experience restoration, that your wounds can heal, and that—while it would have better to figure it out sooner—now is still a beautiful, beautiful gift. May God restore your marriage and marriage bed!