Tag Archives: Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Don’t Miss Your Last Chance to Sign Up for Our Webinar

Just a quick post to remind you that This Is It. Our Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast is hosting its first webinar for wives on Understanding Your Sex Drive tomorrow at 7:30 pm eastern. You must register, so that we can provide you the link to attend.

What Will We Cover?

We’ll address sexual interest generally, woman’s anatomy, external factors that impact sex drive, and actions to employ during sex. Be assured that we will speak to both wives with lower sexual interest and greater sexual interest than their husbands!

Beyond that, it’s a chance to see the podcast hosts in action—the way we see each other when we record our podcast episodes. Four faces on the screen, sharing in turn, conversing about ideas, and making each other laugh.

How Much Does It Cost?

It’s only $5 to join us! Just think of all the things that cost you more than five dollars—a Chick-Fil-A meal, a tube of lipstick, a pair of socks. Why not make a small investment that could pay big dividends for the sexual intimacy in your marriage?

What If You Can’t Attend on Thursday?

Sign up anyway, and we’ll provide you a link to watch the webinar later.

Can You Submit a Question?

Yes. Once you’ve signed up for the webinar, we’ll provide instructions on how to submit a question. We’ll have a Q&A section to address as many questions as we can.

How Do I Sign Up?

Click the image above or the button below, and you’ll be taken to the registration page for our webinar. While you’re there, check out the other two webinars we’ll be offering. You can sign up for one, two, or all three (with the third one for husbands).


What Wives Should Know about Their Sex Drive

Many of us gals were raised with the following messages, conveyed in one way or another:

  • “Sex drive” refers to one’s independent desire to have sex; that is, feeling “in the mood.”
  • Your sex drive is less than his.

But what if those two presumptions aren’t true.

Sadly, we women often don’t understand our sexuality. We may know how our own bodies work, but we still feel like something’s missing when our sex drive doesn’t look like our husband’s. I’m not even talking about low-drive vs high-drive wives, because our misconceptions span across that continuum.

Where can you get the truth?

As I have learned more, I’ve wanted to share what I know about female sexuality. And the same is true of my podcast partners, Chris Taylor of The Forgiven Wife, Bonny Burns of OysterBed7, and Gaye Christmas of Calm.Healthy.Sexy. We want to right the record, reform our perspective, and release women’s sexuality to be what God created it to be.

That’s why we’re thrilled to offer our first Sex Chat for Christan Wives webinar on the topic of Understanding Your Sex Drive! We’re inviting wives to pour a cup of java or tea, join us at our virtual kitchen table, and learn about God’s perfect design for a wife’s sex drive.

We know you busy ladies don’t have a lot of extra time on your calendar, so we’ll be meeting for less than 40 minutes, but that time will be packed with great insight. Plus, you’ll get to see us the way we get to see each other when we record our podcast episodes.

An older photo, but yes, we just see each other’s faces in squares on the screen.

There will also be an opportunity to submit questions, which we’ll answer as time permits.

How can you join our webinar?

For right now, just mark your calendar for July 18, 2019, 7:30 p.m. Eastern Time. Give your work or family a heads-up that you’ve set aside that time. Then sign up for our emails, so we can alert you when the sales page goes live in early July.

Of course, I’ll also continue to share about the webinar here, on my blog, and on Facebook.

What does the webinar cost?

For each webinar, we’re only charging a whopping $5!

Yep, for about the same as a Chick-Fil-A kid’s meal, you can hang out with us, gain a great perspective, and improve your sex life. And with four of us, our smiles outdo your typical Chick-Fil-A employee!

(I’ll even add “Have a blessed day” if you want. Though I might opt for “Have a blessed night…bow-chicka-wow-wow.”)

Is this the only webinar?

This is the first webinar in three we’re offering in 2019. In addition to Understanding Your Sex Drive, we’ll also be talking to wives about Foreplay and to husbands about Understanding Her Sex Drive. So put those dates in your calendar as well.

We look forward to seeing you there!

Happily Book Review: Contrarian Advice for a Great Marriage

On Tuesday, we released another podcast episode on Sex Chat for Christian Wives, but this one was unusual: we hosted a male guest. Kevin A. Thompson is the lead pastor at Community Bible Church in western Arkansas, speaks at marriage and parenting conferences, and has authored two marriage books, including Friends, Lovers, and Partners.

I don’t know how I originally connected with Kevin, but I’ve read his blog for some time and interacted with him online. I’ve been impressed with his willingness to address tough topics from a biblical viewpoint. And he came at it again in his most recent book, Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last.

(Note: I received a copy of this book free from the author, but I promised nothing but to read it. My decision to write this review is entirely my own.)

Kevin starts by discussing our tendency tend to believe that happy and unhappy marriages occur through luck or by getting certain rules right, like “you must find and marry The One.” However, the real way to both avoid divorce and have a happy marriage is to embrace eight contrarian commitments he outlines in the book.

These contrarian commitments are Jesus’ contrarian principles for our lives, laid out in the Sermon on the Mount, the section we call the Beatitudes.

The First Commitment

For example, the first commitment is to Happily Humble Yourselves. Easier said than done, right? And yet, think how many marriage struggles are caused or exacerbated by our lack of humility. As Kevin says, “At the heart of nearly every marriage problem is pride,” but he also points out that “most of the people we meet who lack humility are not arrogant; we are insecure.”

What if we instead had a right perspective of ourselves in comparison to God? What if we understood our value, so we didn’t fall prey to insecurity, as well as our insufficiency, so we didn’t fall prey to arrogance?

What if both of you approached your next conflict with humility? And what if you approached your marriage bed and all the issues surrounding it with true humility—neither arrogant nor insecure? Wouldn’t you listen better, make your requests in a more loving way, pursue help more quickly?

The Second Commitment

Now take the second commitment he covers: Embrace the Hurt. What?! you say. I didn’t get married to get hurt!

Well, are you breathing and in relationship with anyone on this earth? Then welcome to some hurt. In our broken world, that’s how this goes. We will disappoint one another. But that does not mean you cannot have genuine joy, because hurt can result in healing and growth.

Kevin reminds us, “Marriage reveals our flaws and exposes our greatest wounds.” It’s the iron sharpens iron principle, which I discuss at more length in my devotional book Intimacy Revealed. That friction reveals our flaws and gives us an opportunity to improve ourselves and serve others.

Of course, there’s a big difference between the regular, inherent hurt we feel when our differences rub against each another and the pain of abuse. If you’re experiencing the latter, you do not happily endure that. Kevin states that we need to distinguish which pain is a caused by a problem not to be tolerated and which is the result of our imperfection and need for growth.

For those in abusive situations, seek help. Today. Now. Stop reading this blog post and go research abuse resources in your area.

For those in the regular conflict of marriage, Happily‘s prescription is to mourn the emotional pain we feel when let down by others. Which will inevitably happen. But then seek how to grow together through the hurt.

The Commitments & the Beatitudes

As you can see, these two commitments reflect the first two Beatitudes from Matthew 5:3-4:

  • Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  • Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

The remaining six commitments do the same:

  • Happily Avoid Both Apathy and Aggression (“Blessed are the meek…”)
  • Happily See Marriage as Bigger than You (“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness…”)
  • Happily Refuse Power Struggles (“Blessed are the merciful…”)
  • Happily Live in Truth (“Blessed are the pure in heart…”)
  • Happily Make Peace (“Blessed are the peacemakers …”)
  • Happily Endure Whatever May Come (“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness…“)

Maybe some of those commitments surprise you, especially when paired with the word Happily.

Yet what made the difference in my own marriage when it was failing? Yes, I benefited a lot from specific resources that helped me work through issues in our relationship. My ministry is all about providing that kind of resource for couples who are struggling or simply want to improve their sexual intimacy.

But the key for me and my marriage was, through prayer and intention, living out biblical principles day to day: principles like those found in the love passage in 1 Corinthians 13, the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, and the Beatitudes as covered in this book. Once you shift your attitude to that of Christ, you can make real progress in your marriage.

Once you shift your attitude to that of Christ, you can make real progress in your marriage. via @hotholyhumorous Click To Tweet

And as Kevin says, those who put in the effort to have a good marriage may feel lucky, but it’s because they put in the effort that yielded the blessings. I recommend this as a book for a couples to read together and discuss, but it’s also good for one spouse to read and put into practice. Check it out here:

And be sure listen to our podcast episode with Kevin here:

5 Ways This Podcast Helps Your Sex Life (#5 Is a Giveaway)

Did y’all know that I have a podcast?

Even after talking a lot about being one of four hosts of Sex Chat for Christian Wives, I still have people now and then on my Facebook page or here on the blog saying, “What, you have a podcast?”

Sex Chat for Christian Wives Logo + faces of podcast hosts

More often, I’m sure there are those of you who have thought to yourself, I should check out that podcast sometime, but you haven’t done it just yet.

Maybe you don’t even know how to get to a podcast! Where would you go to listen? If that’s you, please go read Podcast Listening for Beginners on the OysterBed7 blog.

And perhaps a few of you are actually tired of me talking about this podcast and wondering why I’m pushing it so much.

Wherever you are regarding my podcast with three other marriage and sex bloggers, let me share on today’s High Five Saturday reasons I love this podcast and, more importantly, how it can really help your sex life.

Blog post title + illustration of microphone

1. We deliver content on-the-go.

To read this post, you had to stop everything enough to be able to focus on the words and take in the message. And honestly, this is my favorite way to deliver content! I’m at my core a writer.

But I’m also a very busy person — with my work, household management, parenting, and other pursuits — taking up quite a bit of time. So I’ve found that one of the best ways that I can receive information I want is to listen to it while on-the-go.

If you were to see me in the grocery store, or while doing at laundry at home, or in the midst of getting ready for my day, you’d likely notice headphones in my ears … because I’m listening to podcasts. Some many of you wives are also on-the-go all the time, and our podcast provides an easy way for you to get information you need and want, while still getting everything most a fair amount of your to-do list done.

2. We have varied perspectives.

Bonny of Oysterbed7, Chris of The Forgiven Wife, Gaye Christmas of Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and I all have the same foundational viewpoint of sexual intimacy in the marriage bed. But we come from different backgrounds, different personal stories, different ways that God has worked in our lives to help us reach holy and healthy sex in our marriages.

So when you listen in to Sex Chat for Christian Wives, you get four sources of wisdom for the price of one. And together, we reach women who also come from varied backgrounds and varied personal stories. I suspect your personality or perspective is well represented by one or more of us.

3. We give practical advice.

Inspiration and life principles are great, but sometimes it’s a struggle to know how to apply that insight in your own life. On Sex Chat for Christian Wives, we share all kinds of ideas and tips about improving the marriage bed. We talk authentically about what works and what doesn’t.

Sure, we could spend a half-hour talking about the theology of sex and providing encouraging and inspirational thoughts — and we do talk about these important things — but we want wives to have real-life takeaways from every single episode.

4. We make you laugh.

We certainly make ourselves laugh. Just check out latest episode on Sex Is Funny. But we also make listeners snicker, laugh, and guffaw … which we consider a great service to you and to marriage beds.

I’m fully aware how much deep heartache and ongoing frustration exists around the subject of sexual intimacy in some marriages. I would never want to minimize that. However, Christians can also become so serious about sex that we forget that it’s supposed to be fun. And talking about it in a fun way, when appropriate, can inspire couples to take more of that tone in their own marriages.

5. We give away stuff.

As of February 14, 2018, we’ll have been podcasting for a full year! (Cue the balloons and confetti!) To celebrate, we are hosting an amazing anniversary giveaway.

Twenty-two (22) runners-up will each receive free shipping for life from Marriage Spice, an online Christian marital aid store. Three (3) runners-up will receive free shipping for life from Marriage Spice plus a bundle of e-books from us: The Busy Life Diet by Gaye ChristmusUnlock Your Libido by Bonny Burns; Intimacy Revealed by J Parker; and Behind Closed Doors by J Parker.

And one Grand Prize winner will receive a $150 Gift Certificate from Marriage Spice! Whoa. That’s a lot of money you could invest in stuff for your bow-chicka-wow-wow.

For rules and how to enter, click the image below:

Well, there you go! Five fantabulous ways we are here to help your marriage bed.

Be sure to subscribe through iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast carrier (I use Pocket Casts). New episodes release every other Tuesday!

And yo, don’t leave before I remind you that my ebooks are currently on sale for a low, low price. If you’ve seen this ad a few times and haven’t clicked yet, go check it out.

E-book sale ad

Click to Buy

High Five Resources for the New Year

In Monday’s post, I explained that I’m not choosing a theme this year to write about on Saturdays, as I have done before. Instead, I’m going to use those Saturdays to provide five resources and/or tips to encourage you in your marriage and sexual intimacy. Because I like word play, I’m calling this my High Five for the week!

Since we often start January with resolutions or goals or hopes for what we can accomplish in the new year, today I’m sharing five resources to help you improve sex in your marriage in 2018.

blog post title + caricature of me high-fiving the air

1. Listen to Our Latest Podcast Episode.

My three podcast partners and I chat about the importance of health for yourself and for improving sexual intimacy in your marriage. We go beyond exercise into other areas that impact your health and lovemaking.

Or I could just call this The Episode in Which a Bedroom Pole Is Mentioned. (See, that’s click bait, right?)

Sex Chat for Christian Wives logo + episode title

CLICK TO LISTEN

2. Get Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage Now!

The ebook is currently priced at $2.99 through Amazon or Barnes & NobleIntimacy Revealed provides 52 devotions, one for each week — or whatever you pace you want — focused on applying God’s Word to your view of sexuality and the marriage bed. I provide thoughts on each passage, as well as questions you can answer and a prayer.

While I wrote the book for wives, I’ve had couples say they went through the devotions together and found it very helpful in opening up conversations about sex in their marriage.

CLICK TO BUY

3. Join my Facebook community!

A few months ago, I launched a closed group on Facebook where spouses can interact about my posts and general marriage questions. It’s been really nice to see people post questions and get insight from others. And I hear that it’s nice for people to be able to comment on my posts without their parents or siblings or kid’s preschool teacher seeing what they say about sex.

You can request to join the group HERE. I do moderate incoming members, and due to the interactive approach of the page, I’m only approving married, or engaged, people. By the way, it’s not always easy to know that someone is married, and I suggest some of y’all take a look at your Facebook profile with that in mind. Could a visitor or old friend easily see that you are currently married?

Group description image

CLICK TO JOIN

4. Sign Up for My Newsletter.

Confession: I was really spotty sending out my monthly newsletter last year. But I’m getting back on track. The newsletter shares my favorite posts of the prior month and must-reads from other blogs, some marriage humor, and a scripture for the month, as well as keeping you updated on the ministry.

You can sign up HERE.

5. Boost Your Libido This Year.

This last resource isn’t mine; it’s put together by Sheila Gregoire of To Love, Honor and Vacuum. But some wives really do struggle with a lower libido, and I really like this online video course she launched last year. She addresses several different factors that come into play and gives you practical tips to increase your sexual response and desire.

This is an affiliate link, but I don’t ever promote something on my blog that I don’t believe in. And I believe Boost Your Libido is an excellent resource that can help you have a better year in the libido department.

CLICK TO BUY

That concludes this week’s High Five. I’ll be back next Saturday with more resources and/or tips for your marriage bed!

Intimacy Revealed Ad - $2.99