Hot, Holy & Humorous

The Ultimate Gift List for Married Couples, 2023 Edition

Welcome to the 2023 edition of me answering the age-old question: What should I get my spouse for Christmas? Short answer: I don’t know. Longer answer: I have so many ideas that I guarantee you can find a great gift and/or stocking stuffer among them.

I’ve organized the ideas into categories, with gifts that:

  • Enhance the Bedroom
  • Raise the Romance
  • Express Your Love
  • Spice Up Your Sexiness
  • Care for Your Body
  • Create an Experience

Thus creating the ultimate gift list with nearly 100 ideas for your spouse and your marriage this holiday season!

Before we begin, I must tell you about the Best Gift on this list: the 2nd Annual Hot, Holy & Humorous Marriage Cruise! It’s happening again next fall. Click below to check out the details and see if 2024 is the year for a romantic vacation, couples’ retreat, and marriage conference all in one!

On to the list…

Many items below have affiliate links, but not all. And I do not suggest something just because I get a small commission. I recommend products I believe to be good.

Enhance the Bedroom

  1. Tonight Not Tonight Reversible Pillowcase. Send a clear signal about lovemaking tonight with these pillowcases. Fun way to initiate sex!
  2. Bed Canopy. Those always look so romantic and sexy in historical bedrooms, like you two are hiding away in your own private retreat.
  3. Colored light bulbs. Low lighting can create a special mood. This is also a great way to lower the spotlight enough that you feel more comfortable baring it all for hubby.
  4. Vinyl Wall Quote (“I am my beloved’s, and he is mine”). I love the idea of putting positive messages and scripture on our walls and found a wonderful Song of Song reference through Etsy. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a message like this in your bedroom?
  5. Love Mop Premium Cotton Sex Towel. Keep one of these in your nightstand or nearby to clean up after the oh-so-worth-it messiness of physical intimacy.
  6. Liberator Decor Fascinator Throw. The love mop towel above is great, but what can you use to protect your whole bed? Try one of these. It absorbs and it’s very comfortable to your skin.
  7. Intimate Experience Date Night Box Subscription. Every Love Intimates has a subscription that includes lingerie, but also wonderful items for your bedroom. Tucked into my first box was a scented candle, a satin pillowcase, and other delights for your bedroom and beyond!

Raise the Romance

  1. Love Tokens. Drop a wooden token with a message of love into your spouse’s bag, pocket, drawer, etc. Lovely way to remind your spouse how much they mean to you!
  2. Romantic Tea or Java. A warm cup of something delicious can set the right romantic mood. Check out the 1001 Nights or Champagne Splashes tea from Lovare (based in Ukraine) or Fall in Love ground coffee.
  3. Mistletoe. You can find real or fake mistletoe at a craft store, home improvement store, or basic retailer (like Target and Wal-Mart). You might want to make things even clearer by attaching a message like “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!” (Song of Songs 1:2).
  4. A Vase and a Vow. If your wife loves getting flowers, how about giving her a customized vase and with a note vowing you’ll bring home flowers one day each month for the rest of the year? She can look forward to seeing what kind of flowers you bring home, anticipate which day you’ll surprise her with them, and enjoy the bloom and fragrance of a fresh bouquet.
  5. Printable Roses. As of this writing, these are FREE. Yep, you print them out, make them, give them to your beloved. How romantic!
  6. Printable Fortune Cookies. Another freebie! “A thrilling night is in your future,” other messages, and create-your-own. Your fortune is a good one with this gift!
  7. Bacon Roses. In case that’s more your spouse’s style. Or try cake pop roses or even a sock bouquet.
  8. Rose Petals. Buy roses from your local florist, but don’t leave them in the paper. Pull the flowers apart and scatter the petals on your bed as an invitation for special, intimate activity. You can even a leave a note citing, “Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits” (Song of Songs 4:16).
  9. Necklace with Personal Charm. Whatever interest, hobby, career, personality, etc. your wife has, there is a jewelry charm for that. You could also go a purely romantic route, like a heart or key-to-my-heart charm. Or perhaps write a personal note and give her a love letter necklace.
  10. Wine Bottle Labels. If you both enjoy wine, how about some personalized labels for those bottles you share on a romantic evening? Using Song of Songs 1:1 (“Your love is more delightful than wine“), I created a sample wine label you can use. If you’re not into wine, these labels can be placed on other bottles, like iced tea or Frappuccino. Edit it to your taste, or simply replace “Husband” with your name and “Wife” with hers. (Click File, make a Copy, and you’ll get a document you can edit). The labels are best printed on 4 3/4″ X 3 1/2″ labels (Avery 22826).
  11. Bucket List Pail. Purchase a metal pail and write on the outside something like “Our Bucket List,” then include strips of paper inside. You could write ideas yourself on some strips to get the process started or present the bucket as something you can fill together, with ideas that you brainstorm and jot down.
  12. Love Potions Book. No, they aren’t really love potions, but rather home recipes for foods and oils that could enhance your sexual intimacy. Making Love Potions: 64 All-Natural Recipes for Irresistible Herbal Aphrodisiacs has wonderful illustrations, inspiring quotations (including a couple from the Bible, but other sources as well), and instructions for making aromatic drinks for stimulating mood, to sensual massage oils, to natural personal lubricants.
  13. Aphrodisiac oils and perfumes. Our sense of smell is connected to the emotion center in our brain, and it’s this insight that has caused aromatherapy to really take hold in recent years. Some spouses detect a difference in how sensual they feel with the use of aromatic products like these.
  14. Bakery treats. Grab a tasty treat from the bakery, with plans to eat it together in bed. Awakening your five senses can lead to an easier time for sexual arousal, so start with livening up your taste buds.
  15. Chocolates. Hey, it’s a classic for a reason. Try a chocolate seller on Etsy or my favorite chocolate shop, Quintessential Chocolates in Fredericksburg, Texas.
  16. Personalized Candy Bar Wrapper. Speaking of chocolate, you can create your own personalized candy bar wrapper. Use your names as shown or edit to include any romantic or passionate message you want, such as: For Your Mouth: This Chocolate & My Lips.

And there’s also my romantic (and a bit sexy) Christmas short story, for less than a buck!

Under the Mistletoe: A Christmas Short Story

Under the Mistletoe: A Christmas Short Story

Genre: Inspirational

Inspirational Short Story, 4000 words. It's Christmas Eve, and Grace still hasn't seen a present under the Christmas tree from her husband...

More info →
Buy now!

Express Your Love

  1. I Have Found the One I Love Pendant. One of my favorite Song of Songs sayings, which I’ve had on my bedroom wall as art! But you can gift it in jewelry too.
  2. Married Is Great t-shirt. Marriage really is great, when done well. Go ahead and celebrate it with a t-shirt for one or both of you. I love mine! Married Is Great has several designs and hoodies as well!
  3. Aqua Love Notes. How about taking a break from washing up to leave a love note for your beloved? Aqua Love Notes comes with waterproof pad and two colored pencils you can mount and use in the shower.
  4. Personalized M&Ms.Pick your colors, type in your message, and choose your packaging to make personalized M&Ms candies. Be as romantic or suggestive as you want, though you should know that that there’s limited space and the My M&Ms website precludes certain “inappropriate” words, including the word “sex.”
  5. Be-You-tiful Shirt. Let your wife know that she’s beautiful to you, inside and out, with a be-you-tiful shirt, like this one from Etsy that references Proverbs 31:25.
  6. Customized notepads. My husband is forever looking for something to write on — notes for his list of to-dos, dimensions for something he’s building or buying furniture for, calculations for this-that-and-the-other . . .  If your spouse is the same, how about a functional notepad that also serves as a nice reminder of how much you love them? VistaPrint and Staples have several customizable designs.
  7. Invisible Ink Pens. What a fun way to share private notes! Great to pair with notepads.
  8. Love Letter. All this takes is a piece of paper, a pen or pencil, and a little creativity. But wouldn’t your spouse love to hear straight from you how much you love them? Or to read how committed you are to your future? How about something playful or passionate? I have tips for you here.
  9. Prescription for Love. Save prescription bottles or purchase them at a local craft store or online, buy printable labels, make up your “Pharmacy” information and “prescription,” and fill the bottle with whatever you want. It could be candy, or strips of paper with romantic or sexual activities, or date night ideas to experience together. For example:

Spice Up Your Sexiness

  1. Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples. Many couples have shared how this book helped them talk about sex more openly and positively, resolve bedroom issues, and pursue healthy and satisfying sex. It’s a non-pressure way to discuss intimacy with your spouse!
  2. Ultimate Intimacy Marriage App. Bedroom games, conversation starters, sex tips, and more.
  3. Lingerie. Looking for great lingerie with clean images for shopping? Try Honoring Intimates (discount code HOTHOLYHUMOROUS will get you 20% off!) or Mentionables. Both have beautiful and sexy options in a wide range of sizes.
  4. Lingerie shop gift card. Alternatively, give your spouse a gift card for a lingerie shop and a promise to shop together. As you shop, he can explain what appeals to him, she can explain why she would or wouldn’t wear something (e.g., “That looks sexy, but the fabric is really scratchy”), and then choose something that makes you both feel valued.
  5. Ready for Sex Signal. Looking for a unique way to give your lover the go-ahead for tonight? Why not use the bat signal? I suspect most hubbies would love to get this signal to step up their superhero power and rock their wife’s world tonight. Cape optional.
  6. Spin the Bottle Game. The Dating Divas specialize in activities and games for your marriage. Check out this fun and sexy game you can put together yourself.
  7. Sexy Picture of You. I’m not a big fan of taking extremely revealing pictures of yourself for your spouse. But a suggestive photo can be a lovely thing — reminding your spouse that you are uniquely there for their eyes and their touch while hinting at the real, three-dimensional thing you get to enjoy in your marriage. (Note: Not a good choice for those who’ve struggled with pornography. Use wisdom.)
  8. Fun Socks. Did you know that people tend to climax more easily with their socks on? No, seriously. It was a surprise finding in sexual research. So, help your honey keep their feet warm and his marriage bed hot with some fun socks. I’m a fan of superhero socks in particular, maybe with a message about how your spouse is youre hero in bed?
  9. Message Undies. You could go with a humorous message or image, like these boxers for men, or something a bit spicier, like these Christmas-themed panties for women.
  10. Edible body paint. Feeling adventurous? Draw messages, designs, or pictures on one another’s bodies…and then enjoy the tasty treat when your masterpiece is finished.
  11. Chocolate syrup and whipped cream. Need I explain what you can do with these? Just know that they even have reduced calorie and sugar-free options, so you can probably find something that works for you.
  12. Personal lubricant. Even if you already have personal lubricant in your bedroom, you can use this opportunity to try something different. Some of my faves are Sliquid, Aloe Cadabra, and Jo’s flavored lubes, but many swear by coconut oil.
  13. Board game. You can play the game straight, or you can suggest it playing Strip _____. Almost any board game can be adapted for a clothing-removal challenge that ends with both of you winning.
  14. You. Probably the best thing you could wrap up for your spouse is yourself. Make a big, beautiful bow and place it on your body. Wear it over lingerie or just by itself. And then let hubby unwrap his favorite present. Because, after all, he has been a good boy this year, hasn’t he? Instructions can be found here.

You can also check out my sexy Christmas coupons!

Christmas Gift Coupons for Her


Perfect stocking stuffer for your wife that she can cash in any time of year!


Christmas Gift Coupons for Him


Perfect stocking stuffer for your husband that he can cash in any time of year!


Care for Your Body

  1. Fresh Balls. This ball deodorant addresses sweaty and less-than-fragrant testicles. Hubby and wife will feel more comfortable getting busy when his manly parts are nice and fresh.
  2. Sneaker Balls. Heading due south, you and your spouse might appreciate shoe deodorizers in the shape of balls—spheres, that is.
  3. Bath and body products.
    • Bubble bath. You could include an invite to use it together. Shared bubble baths can be very intimate.
    • Gentleman’s Soak Bath Salt. Ladies aren’t the only ones who enjoy a good soak in the bath. These bath salts relax muscles and have a manly scent.
  4. Manly Wet Wipes. If your guy doesn’t have time to do the whole shower thing, how about some manly wet wipes? And why do I suggest these specifically for men? Well, because studies show that our female noses are more sensitive than male ones so we’re more likely to pick up on body odor, even when the issue is mild.
  5. Body groomer. For the manscapers out there, it’s a good idea to have something that works well for that sensitive area. The Norelco Bodygroom and MANSPOT Trimmer are highly rated.
  6. Buck Naked Underwear. Not only is this brand fun to say, it’s moisture-wicking, meaning that your package stays fresher throughout the day. It also boasts: “No pinch, no stink, no sweat. Feels like you aren’t wearing any underwear at all.” Maybe it should have been named Commando Underwear!
  7. Reusable heat packs. Of course, your mate is already hot, but a little heated massage is a lovely thing in the marital bedroom. Try some heat packs (also called hand warmers) to massage your beloved and get things heated up.
  8. Package of gum or mints. Sometimes you’re not kissing because your or your spouse’s breath isn’t fresh. How about a package of gum or mints? (Buc-ee’s, by the way, is a well-known brand here in Texas.)
  9. Hand-held Massager. Some are pronged for pressure points, some are roller balls, some have spikes, but a good massager can help you deliver a muscle-relaxing rub-down to your spouse without exhausting your own hands. After trying various ones, I’m a huge fan of the Theragun Mini.

Create an Experience

  1. Intimate Playlist. Put together a playlist of tunes that get you in the mood. Choose your favorites or check out suggestions from my marital intimacy playlist.
  2. Double Shower Head. Some of us married couples really enjoy sharing the shower with our mate! But if you’re like me, you didn’t get to design your perfect shower for two. Still, you can take your existing setup and turn it into a more inviting place to shower together. Add a note about how much you’re looking forward to that shower!
  3. The Gift of Nothing. Remember this is an experience, meaning you give your spouse the gift of doing nothing. That is, a day or night or weekend with no obligations. No meals to cook, no children to watch, no laundry to wash, no groceries to buy, no work to complete, no alarm clocks to answer, no ________[fill in the blank]. Some men would like this gift, but a lot of women would adore this idea.
  4. Date Nights for the Year. Purchase a jar or other container, come up with the date ideas, and pop them in. Life Hack has a good list to spark your creativity, and The Dating Divas has a Steamy Bucket List you could make as a gift.
  5. Home Date Kit. Create the perfect date night for home with items you both enjoy. Start with a decorative box or basket. Add a restaurant gift card; a meal kit; or a gift card for UberEatsDoorDash, or Grubhub. Include items to create a romantic setting, like flameless candles, dinnerware, and cloth napkins folded into beautiful designs (if I can do it, you can too!). Choose an activity, like a board gamemovieconversation starters, or DIY project. Finish up with intimacy items—like specialty lube, a tasty treat, and/or sexy Christmas-themed undies (his/hers). Bonus: Add a love letter to your one-and-only, with specifics on why you treasure your beloved and would choose him/her again.
  6. Adventure/Activity. Book that weekend trip, buy those tickets to a game or concert, make reservations for a couples cooking class or horseback riding, schedule a tour of your local museum or winery, plan a state park visit or beach outing.
  7. Sex Schedule. What if your Christmas gift to your higher-drive spouse was next year’s calendar on which you’d marked days you committed to have sex? Maybe your idea is to choose one day of the week and make that your guaranteed, I’m-a-sure-thing promise. Simply take a calendar, decorate every Thursday (or whatever) with markers, stickers, glitter, etc. and encourage your spouse to hang it somewhere they can see it next year.
  8. Double Hammock. Hammocks are very popular right now. But you know what’s more fun? You and your honey-bunny snuggling up together. All that close affection outside the bedroom certainly helps stoke the fires of romance inside the bedroom.
  9. Couples Devotional Book. Did you know that couples who pray together have low divorce rates and report very satisfying sex lives? Becoming spiritually intimate is a great idea on its own, but it can also boost your sexual intimacy.

And when you’ve got your gift together, top it off with a spouse-centered Christmas gift tag!

Just You and Me Christmas Gift Tags


Gift tags for those special gifts privately given between husband and wife! 10 to a page, with and without borders. For use with Avery 5163 shipping labels or equivalent, or simply print on other paper of your choice and cut out.


P.S. Don’t Forget Our Webinars!



  • Understanding Your Sex Drive
  • Foreplay
  • Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands)
  • Getting in the Mood
  • Oral Sex for Him
  • Orgasm



  • Helping Your Wife Want to Have Sex
  • Increasing Your Wife’s Sexual Pleasure
  • Spicing Up Your Bedroom


1 thought on “The Ultimate Gift List for Married Couples, 2023 Edition”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *